Am I a victim of my own expectations?

Anyone who went to college with me would tell you that I was at the club every Friday and Saturday. It would be pointless to start lying now, if you know me then you know that I enjoyed my varsity days to the fullest. I also wore the smallest clothes possible and I could get away with it too…because everyone knew I was the exotic girl who lived in a very hot country (obviously not Zimbabwe, its is not that hot). I was making the most of my life because that is who I am, I never let a chance pass. This was reminded to me a few days ago when I met a former colleague on a platform called C2C, Connections2Communities.

He said, “Janet, I wondered what had happened to you because I told people about you for years.” I said, “Really! Why?” He said, “Because when we were working at PG Industries, you always insisted on us going out every Friday night and you had this sense of fun like no one else I have ever met in my life.” I laughingly told him that I had since grown up, I was now a mother of two and busy working on a formula to get a billion dollars.” Reflecting on that conversation, I realised that I might not be clubbing as much as I did then, I might not be going out for dinner and movies every Friday night as I did back then (kids are expensive), but I have stayed true to expecting so much from life.

A few days before my wedding, my boss told me that you have to get awesome pictures because this would be the biggest party of your life. Needless to say, I was four and half months pregnant at my wedding, I didn’t hire wedding dancers, we didn’t do steps (a tradition by Zimbabweans to have some choreographed dance at the wedding) because I was planning on dancing and I can honestly say, I danced at my wedding, I think 5 years later, I can still feel the aches from that dancing.

This is the thing, I am not a loud person, I understand “protocol” of any setting, and in a physical room full of people, you won’t point at me and say “that is a loud person”, but my actions are loud. However, I would say, I am a shallow person….not intellectually, in the sense that what you see is what you get. If I say I am going to do something I do it, something that my boss loves, she knows if I say I will do something I will do it…luckily enough, she is a free thinker, she doesn’t care when it gets done as long as it gets done.

Now comes the story of my disappointment, I am in a whatsapp group that has a lot of interesting people and the discussions in that group are rich and provoking. This group is called Connections2Communities, its as basic as its sounds Converting connections to communities, its about people getting to know each other virtually and becoming a community. So I administered a questionnaire to 367 people (+/-50) which had 2 simple questions other than the biodata, what’s your profession and what are you expecting from the initiative? In my mind, since this is a community about getting to know each other, this must be as basic as it gets. After a good 16 hours, I checked the response, and I found that I had 16 responses. Just 16 responses…and this is a community where people are saying lets get to know each other so that we form a community around our ideas. So my first thought is

  1. Does it mean the other 351 members are here to spectate?
  2. If people can’t be bothered to answer a simple questionnaire like this, how will they be willing to do much more for the community.
  3. The senior members of the community hadn’t answered, does it mean they are preaching a sexy rhetoric that they think people want to hear.

And yes, I know that people are people, they are going to do as they wish but if you are in a community called connections2communities and someone sends you a questionnaire that is saying let’s get to know each other so that we find meeting points, would that be too hard to answer. I was quite disappointed by this but after calming down, I realised that I was a victim of my own expectations because

  1. I believe people should never pass up any opportunity to be heard
  2. I expected people to act as I would
  3. I expect a lot from life and I believe people should too (Was planning on being a billionaire, now after learning about BlackRock, I want to be BlackRock to be part of the people that have money that controls world events)

Not many people have responded to my questionnaire but if you were in a group called Connections 2 Communities with me, would you answer this questionnaire If you are not, I would love it if you would join because it is a great initiative even though it is still a steep climp. And of the few people that have answered, I have found one answer that brightened my day, so my efforts are not lost.

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