I recently read that women do not get ahead in the workplace as much as men because they fail to self promote. And that got me wandering whether society has much to do with this. This is something I rarely like to admit but truth be told, society is generally patriarchal, men have the final say in the house, in the companies and in governments. This is neither here nor there, but this is whats considered to be the correct status quo in normal society. My Shona culture is crazy enough to decide that a husband’s siblings have more say in the house than the matriarch of the house. Totally crazy, right? You go to South Africa, the Boer man is the most alpha man that there is. You watch on TV, there is a lot of baby mama dramas and all this talk about single mothers. We are a society that clap hands for men when they are single fathers and ignore the single mothers. How twisted is that? Men can do whatever they wish, but women cannot.
This is the same society that gets surprised when women fail to get ahead. How do we do that when we have been taught that women keep quiet when the men are talking, women should go and cook and leave the men to discuss real issues. We are the same women that are now being told that we can be anything that we want to be but society tells us we can never have real impactful power in the wokplace. It always irritates me when I see women being celebrated for things men have always been doing, its like, “Ah good, you managed to catch up. We didn’t think you could, lets clap hands for her.” What rubbish! I find this most hypocritical because the woman is taught from a young age;
- To take care of the younger siblings in the house
- To take care of the house if the mother is not there
- To be the main cook in the house
- To be the most responsible person in the house even if Daddy is there.
And the one thing that Daddy is supposed to do, is bring the bread home. Why are we then surprised when women later on put their jobs aside to take care of their kids, to take care of their homes, to sacrifice the needed hours for promotion to rush home and have supper with their kids. And guess what, the father can come home at 12pm from the office, he can put in as many hours as he needs to get that promotion, he can be allowed to ignore the kids because he is busy in his office. It is after all the mother’s job to make sure the kids are safe and the father gets the promotion.
Sooner or later, this society is going to have to decide the correct definition for success. Women are given the women text book but are told to pass the men exam. That does not make sense. We need to change the barometer for success to home making, making the world a better place by raising kids who are balanced and and lets see how the scale goes.
I can tell you this for free, most men will be found wanting on that success ladder…..